To Be Fully Known

Monday, October 31, 2022
To be fully known
By: Pastor Amie Donovan

O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
 You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
 You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
 You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
 You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!
Psalms 139:1-8 (NLT)

The first time I felt the sting of death was at 14 years old. 
I had lost people before, but not like this. Never a friend. 
At 14, you don’t die. 

The next time I experienced loss, it was a marriage.

I found myself asking God, “Why?” 

I went to church, I prayed, and I studied His Word. I sincerely tried to make it work, and for a while, I had faith it would. 

Until it didn’t. 
Loss. 
It once again shook me. 

While walking through my divorce, I lost my job. I lost some friends. 

Mostly, I just lost my way.

One night I lay on the floor of my living room with my young daughter in the next room, sleeping soundly, and I cried like I never had before. 

God allowed me to feel every emotion. He quietly listened as I blamed Him, questioned Him, and then asked Him to forgive my knowingly unfair judgments of Him. 

You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
 You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Looking back on that season of my life, I see a patient and loving Father who doesn’t hold our grief against us. He knows us fully and loves us deeply as we walk out this thing called life.